阅读恐惧症是我从小就有的。打小看到密密麻麻的字我就头大，一定要图画多于字的书才敢看。这和后来我得了失语症也是有联系的。如今人长大了，不读书就被别人认为文盲。读MASTER以后，要看理论书基本上是逃不掉的了，实在是很难为我。当然也有看理论书也有心情澎湃的时候，虽然我大半没读懂，只是偶然对个别词语句子可以产生共鸣。语言真是一种害人的东西，自从语言发明以后，人的思想也被训练成了语言，却忘记了混沌的意识。可不可以拒绝文字和理论只是闭着眼睛在大海里沉浮呢？另外有了阅读恐惧症后，也连带了有了一种恐知识分子症。

For my American fellows, I try to translate my blog into English. Due to my insufficiency in English & also my poor language ability, these articles might be a totally different thing from what i really wanna say. like being dupped twice thru the VCR. anyways, you’ll try your best to guess my meaning.

I have a fear for reading since I was a child. Whenever I see pages full of text, I feel headache. I am only willing to read text along with images. This also results in  my aphasia later on. As I grow up, I realize people will treat me as illiterate if I don’t read. & When I went to grad school, I’m forced to read theory books, it’s killing me. Sometimes theory books do excite me, although I can hardly grasp half of it.That only happens when I can resonate with certain words or sentances. Language is a pest. Since language was invented, people have been trained to think in language & forget about the unconsciousness. Can anyone refuse languages & theories just to feel it from the heart?

PS, Since I have a fear for reading, I have a fear for highbrows too.